You're probably wondering:
What does "suitcase heart" mean and why on earth did I decide to start a blog?
I'll start with context first:
As many of you know, this month I turned 25. Yes, I know I am still a baby, but 25 is somewhat of a milestone birthday in my mind and it took me by surprise. Wasn't I just 22 last year?? Am I ready to be 25? Do I feel 25? Am I doing what I am meant to be doing at 25? Clearly this arbitrary number stirred symptoms of the increasingly typical "quarter-life crisis"...and has caused me to question everything I know to be true about the world.
OK, perhaps a bit overdramatic... but as I reflected on this stage of life, I realized that "25" seemed to be bringing major change to all my friends around me: graduating law school & entering the working world for the first time; quitting post-college pay-the-rent jobs and pursuing passions in a new career; going back to school to learn new skills; moving cities to experience new things; getting engaged; getting married...everyone seems to be making the scary leap from our "3-year undergrad hangover" into a truly grown-up, no-excuses, endless-possibilities adult life.
At this point, we're financially independent, not yet tied to a family or a mortgage, and we've put in a few solid years of professional experience making us fairly competent humans. We can sort of do whatever the heck we want right now... so what in the world do we do??
It was in this philosophical mental state, that I decided it was a good idea to uproot my lovely, comfortable Los Angeles life, and try something drastically different: NYC. because, why not? and if not now, then when?
So, excited and terrified, confident and wildly doubtful at the same time, I'm committed to the change but scared out of my mind. For me the hardest part about leaving California is moving so far away from my West Coast support system and the places, activities and lifestyle that have always informed my sense of identity.
Here's where "suitcase heart" comes in:
Craving an outlet to write and reflect, and a way to keep friends and family close as I travel cross-country, I decided to try my hand at this whole blogging thing. I wanted a place I could easily share stories, photos, illustrations, random musings... but it wasn't until I went searching for what to call this blog that what I really needed clicked into place.
I was with my sister at a crafts fair in downtown LA and a small blue travel journal caught my eye. On its cover was an illustration of colorful San Francisco houses (very fitting already) and a quote that read "they should tell you when you're born: have a suitcase heart, always be ready to travel." "suitcase heart," my sister said, "that should be the name of your blog!"
It was perfect. and the longer I thought about it, the more right it felt. In fact, just hearing that phrase actually changed something inside of me - my anxiety about moving, changing, turning 25, disappeared...and was replaced by comfort, confidence, and a stronger sense of self. Most importantly, "suitcase heart" made me realize that the love and spirit of my California community will be with me wherever I go, and waiting with open arms for when I come back.
So here's to the next chapter, and packing all of you in my suitcase heart for the journey.